instilling fear in a sadistic dog

Hello all,

I solved the problem of that horrible dog after it made the big
mistake of biting my Mum. I was looking round the local charity shop
for some old CDs and things when I spotted an iron glove. I think it
must have been an old theatrical prop or something rather than from a
suit of armour. I paid five pounds for it and the next day when
everyone had gone out I went into the kitchen where the dog was lying
in its basket and whacked it in the face. It was really surprised, and
even more surprised when it bit me that I wasn't the one yelping in
fear. I grabbed onto its upper jam and squeezed real hard so it
couldn't let go. Then I remembered something I read once about how a
dog perspires through its tongue and how it's very sensitive. I
decided to teach it a real lesson and still holding onto it I heated
up a spoon on the gas stove until it was real hot. Then I took hold of
it by the scruff of the neck with my other hand, and let go of its
jaws. Then I picked up the spoon and would you believe it tried to
bite it. I shoved the hot spoon right into its throat and boy did it
scream in pain. It made an awful mess on the floor too. Wasn't so
brave now was it?

When I decided that I'd had enough I locked it in the garage where it
couldn't get at any water. It yelped for over two hours. The past few
days everytime I go near it it yelps and cowers. I don't think I'll
have anymore trouble with this vicious hound but my Mum may have it
put down. I tried kindness, but even the dumbest of animals understand
pain. Including the two-legged kind.