Not a dry eye in the house......

To mark the annivesray of the ascent in Heaven of one of its fairest angels,
I'm proud to repost this remarable account from the Reverend Stapleton S
Love as a tribute to the memory of our own English Rose......




A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Evensong..... (2000)


In order to counter the growing speculation about the identity of the
'Priest' who had been engaged to join Princess Diana and Dodi El Fayhed
in matrimony I have been advised by my Bishop to set the record
straight.

It was, if I recall correctly, in the spring of 1997 when I was first
visited by the happy couple.

I was praying in St.Stephen's, worrying, as usual, about the
increasingly dilapidated condition of the roof timbers, the exorbitant
cost of replenishing the stocks of communion wine ( a less charitable
soul would have suspected Mrs Everidge - the cleaning lady - of sampling
it!) - in fact, all the usual concerns of a simple country Parson, when
I suddenly became aware that I was no longer alone.

Opening my eyes, my first thought was that my fervent intercession for
the pecuniary needs of my parish had resulted in an angelic visitation!
- for a vision of radiant loveliness stood before me.

Silhouetted, as she was, against the West window I was momentarily
unable to discern her features - but I was acutely conscious of the
delicious aroma of expensive perfume that mingled with St. Stephen's
usual odour of damp, must and beeswax polish.

As my eyesight adjusted itself I was, at length, able to make out more
plainly the face of the expensively dressed stranger - and it was with a
jolting heart that I realised that my beautiful visitor was none other
than the Princess Of Wales, herself!!

Immediately, I became acutely conscious of the threadbare condition of
my Surplice, the grubbiness of my collar and the worn down heels of my
much-mended shoes - but, her kindly manner and the warmth of her
personality soon dispelled my embarrassment.

Seated together in the choir stall, she explained the reason for her
visit. For nearly two hours she poured out her heart to me - telling me
all about the unhappiness of her marriage to the Prince Of Wales, of the
moments of black despair that had engulfed her as the rouge flaunted his
adulterous liaison with Mrs Parker Boles in front of her

Her eyes filed with tears as she spoke of the unsatisfactory
relationships she had entered into in a vain attempt to win back the
attention of her unheeding husband.

Truly! - listening to her heart rending tale, it took nearly all my
powers of self control to refrain from leaping upon my bicycle and
pedalling furiously up to London to confront the cold hearted monster
with his actions!

However, as the conversation turned, at length, to her present
condition, her eyes softened and her voice assumed a new warmth as she
told me that she had now met a man - "A very wonderful man", with whom
she had found true happiness.

Taking my hand in hers, her blue eyes moist with tears of happiness, she
implored me to wed them in secret - a proposition which I found somewhat
problematical, given that she had not yet obtained a divorce from her
monstrous 'husband'.

Observing my hesitation, she leapt to her feet and hastened from the
church - asking me to wait while she brought her Love in to meet me.
The great oak door of the Church remained half open - and I could hear,
from outside, the sound of voices raised in quite heated debate.

A man, obviously irritated, could be heard enquiring "Why have I been
sitting in this car for over two hours, Bitch?!" while, in response, the
gentle tones of Diana responded "Oh Dodi, don't be angry with me - I've
been telling the Vicar all about us - and, Dodi, he seems such a kind
man, I think he might marry us".

Their further discussion was conducted at a more subdued level - and,
after another ten minutes, or so, Diana re-entered the church
accompanied by a tall, Moorish looking, chap - who gave one the
unmistakable impression of a Christmas tree, so adorned was he with
golden rings, bracelets and trinkets of every kind.

As this exotic stranger jangled his way down the stone-flagged aisle of
St Stephen's I could not help contrasting his swarthy, 'Devil May Care'
looks with the fresh, pleasing, essentially 'Englishness' of his excited
companion.

However, pushing such unworthy thoughts from my mind, I welcomed them
both - and proceeded to explain the obstacles that stood in the path of
their intended union.

Perceiving that 'Dodi' (for such, I was told, was his name) was unlikely
to be a member of the Anglican faith I enquired whether he was amenable
to a course of instruction in the tenets of Christianity that would
lead, ultimately, to his Baptism.

Dodi (who seemed to take a great deal of interest in his cell-phone)
merely nodded and grunted monosyllabic responses to my questioning and,
in fact, it was Diana who answered for him - assuring me that Dodi was
quite willing to renounce his Muslim beliefs and enthusiastically
embrace whatever was necessary to ensure their wedding.

She, further, asked me if it was possible for such a Course Of
Instruction to be given immediately - explaining the urgency of the
matter, and assuring me that they would express their undying gratitude
in a very tangible form.

I asked them for a moment, or two, to consider the matter - and, after
reflecting upon the recent Builder's estimate for replacing the ailing
roof timbers, decided that the happiness of these tow young people
should, after all, take precedence over outmoded tradition.

Thus, began one of the strangest Baptism's ever to take place in St
Stephens!. Dodi, in between his repeated inspections of his various
trinkets, mumbled his acquiescence to the Creed and the Catechism
enounced Satan and all his works - and, after a momentary hiccup during
which he complained about getting water on the collar of his Jermyn
Street shirt - was finally ushered into the world wide Anglican
community.

By this time it was late Evening - and, despite the pleas of the
Princess Of Wales, I had to insist that any 'wedding' would have to be
left until another day.

I reiterated my point about the validity of such a union in the absence
of a suitable divorce (after all, I do my best to be an Accommodating,
Relevant, thoroughly Up To Date cleric - but there do have to be SOME
limits!) but did agree to Diana's impassioned request to Bless their
relationship at a later date.
..
Then, with smiles and tears from Diana and an impatient tapping of feet
from Dodi, the couple climbed into his red Lamborghini - and disappeared
in a flurry of spitting gravel.

Returning to the church I discovered that the offertory box had also
gone! and, sighing, I locked up and went to get my bicycle for the
journey back to the Rectory.

I had an odd feeling of foreboding as I creaked my way along the lanes
that led homewards!. Something was amiss!, something dangerous seemed to
lurk behind the shadowy hedgerows that bordered the roadside!.
My mind, filled as it was with the strange events of the day, rendered
me quite unprepared for what happened next, as I cycled underneath a
railway bridge on the outskirts of the village!

Without warning, three large figures,mounted upon the very latest
Titanium framed mountain bikes, swished past me - their index gearing
making light work of the slight incline. As they drew level, one of the
riders produced a large flashlight and directed the beam straight into
my eyes!

I wobbled, lost control of my cycle - and fell heavily against the
lichen covered brickwork of the bridge, grazing my forehead and badly
spraining my ankle.

My assailants peddled quickly away, leaving me to limp homeward, leaning
upon my bicycle which had sustained a puncture and a badly buckled front
wheel.

Later that evening, my ankle swathed in crepe bandaging, it was left to
Mrs Love to sum up the matter. "This", she said, sagely, "Is what
happens when you become involved with things that are none of your
concern

I never saw Diana or Dodi again.


Rev Stapleton S Love


---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.514 / Virus Database: 312 - Release Date: 28/08/2003

OK, confess, are you Judith Krantz or Belva
Plain? Or maybe that lady with the 8 parking
spaces and won't share?

So many cross posts, what to do? Hmmmmmm I pick
Lawrence Sanders, sounds like 'The First Deadly
Sin', LOLOL

Wull

Exrxes News Network wrote:
>
> To mark the annivesray of the ascent in Heaven of one of its fairest angels,
> I'm proud to repost this remarable account from the Reverend Stapleton S
> Love as a tribute to the memory of our own English Rose......
>
> A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To Evensong..... (2000)
>
> In order to counter the growing speculation about the identity of the
> 'Priest' who had been engaged to join Princess Diana and Dodi El Fayhed
> in matrimony I have been advised by my Bishop to set the record
> straight.
>
> It was, if I recall correctly, in the spring of 1997 when I was first
> visited by the happy couple.
>
> I was praying in St.Stephen's, worrying, as usual, about the
> increasingly dilapidated condition of the roof timbers, the exorbitant
> cost of replenishing the stocks of communion wine ( a less charitable
> soul would have suspected Mrs Everidge - the cleaning lady - of sampling
> it!) - in fact, all the usual concerns of a simple country Parson, when
> I suddenly became aware that I was no longer alone.
>
> Opening my eyes, my first thought was that my fervent intercession for
> the pecuniary needs of my parish had resulted in an angelic visitation!
> - for a vision of radiant loveliness stood before me.
>
> Silhouetted, as she was, against the West window I was momentarily
> unable to discern her features - but I was acutely conscious of the
> delicious aroma of expensive perfume that mingled with St. Stephen's
> usual odour of damp, must and beeswax polish.
>
> As my eyesight adjusted itself I was, at length, able to make out more
> plainly the face of the expensively dressed stranger - and it was with a
> jolting heart that I realised that my beautiful visitor was none other
> than the Princess Of Wales, herself!!
>
> Immediately, I became acutely conscious of the threadbare condition of
> my Surplice, the grubbiness of my collar and the worn down heels of my
> much-mended shoes - but, her kindly manner and the warmth of her
> personality soon dispelled my embarrassment.
>
> Seated together in the choir stall, she explained the reason for her
> visit. For nearly two hours she poured out her heart to me - telling me
> all about the unhappiness of her marriage to the Prince Of Wales, of the
> moments of black despair that had engulfed her as the rouge flaunted his
> adulterous liaison with Mrs Parker Boles in front of her
>
> Her eyes filed with tears as she spoke of the unsatisfactory
> relationships she had entered into in a vain attempt to win back the
> attention of her unheeding husband.
>
> Truly! - listening to her heart rending tale, it took nearly all my
> powers of self control to refrain from leaping upon my bicycle and
> pedalling furiously up to London to confront the cold hearted monster
> with his actions!
>
> However, as the conversation turned, at length, to her present
> condition, her eyes softened and her voice assumed a new warmth as she
> told me that she had now met a man - "A very wonderful man", with whom
> she had found true happiness.
>
> Taking my hand in hers, her blue eyes moist with tears of happiness, she
> implored me to wed them in secret - a proposition which I found somewhat
> problematical, given that she had not yet obtained a divorce from her
> monstrous 'husband'.
>
> Observing my hesitation, she leapt to her feet and hastened from the
> church - asking me to wait while she brought her Love in to meet me.
> The great oak door of the Church remained half open - and I could hear,
> from outside, the sound of voices raised in quite heated debate.
>
> A man, obviously irritated, could be heard enquiring "Why have I been
> sitting in this car for over two hours, Bitch?!" while, in response, the
> gentle tones of Diana responded "Oh Dodi, don't be angry with me - I've
> been telling the Vicar all about us - and, Dodi, he seems such a kind
> man, I think he might marry us".
>
> Their further discussion was conducted at a more subdued level - and,
> after another ten minutes, or so, Diana re-entered the church
> accompanied by a tall, Moorish looking, chap - who gave one the
> unmistakable impression of a Christmas tree, so adorned was he with
> golden rings, bracelets and trinkets of every kind.
>
> As this exotic stranger jangled his way down the stone-flagged aisle of
> St Stephen's I could not help contrasting his swarthy, 'Devil May Care'
> looks with the fresh, pleasing, essentially 'Englishness' of his excited
> companion.
>
> However, pushing such unworthy thoughts from my mind, I welcomed them
> both - and proceeded to explain the obstacles that stood in the path of
> their intended union.
>
> Perceiving that 'Dodi' (for such, I was told, was his name) was unlikely
> to be a member of the Anglican faith I enquired whether he was amenable
> to a course of instruction in the tenets of Christianity that would
> lead, ultimately, to his Baptism.
>
> Dodi (who seemed to take a great deal of interest in his cell-phone)
> merely nodded and grunted monosyllabic responses to my questioning and,
> in fact, it was Diana who answered for him - assuring me that Dodi was
> quite willing to renounce his Muslim beliefs and enthusiastically
> embrace whatever was necessary to ensure their wedding.
>
> She, further, asked me if it was possible for such a Course Of
> Instruction to be given immediately - explaining the urgency of the
> matter, and assuring me that they would express their undying gratitude
> in a very tangible form.
>
> I asked them for a moment, or two, to consider the matter - and, after
> reflecting upon the recent Builder's estimate for replacing the ailing
> roof timbers, decided that the happiness of these tow young people
> should, after all, take precedence over outmoded tradition.
>
> Thus, began one of the strangest Baptism's ever to take place in St
> Stephens!. Dodi, in between his repeated inspections of his various
> trinkets, mumbled his acquiescence to the Creed and the Catechism
> enounced Satan and all his works - and, after a momentary hiccup during
> which he complained about getting water on the collar of his Jermyn
> Street shirt - was finally ushered into the world wide Anglican
> community.
>
> By this time it was late Evening - and, despite the pleas of the
> Princess Of Wales, I had to insist that any 'wedding' would have to be
> left until another day.
>
> I reiterated my point about the validity of such a union in the absence
> of a suitable divorce (after all, I do my best to be an Accommodating,
> Relevant, thoroughly Up To Date cleric - but there do have to be SOME
> limits!) but did agree to Diana's impassioned request to Bless their
> relationship at a later date.
> .
> Then, with smiles and tears from Diana and an impatient tapping of feet
> from Dodi, the couple climbed into his red Lamborghini - and disappeared
> in a flurry of spitting gravel.
>
> Returning to the church I discovered that the offertory box had also
> gone! and, sighing, I locked up and went to get my bicycle for the
> journey back to the Rectory.
>
> I had an odd feeling of foreboding as I creaked my way along the lanes
> that led homewards!. Something was amiss!, something dangerous seemed to
> lurk behind the shadowy hedgerows that bordered the roadside!.
> My mind, filled as it was with the strange events of the day, rendered
> me quite unprepared for what happened next, as I cycled underneath a
> railway bridge on the outskirts of the village!
>
> Without warning, three large figures,mounted upon the very latest
> Titanium framed mountain bikes, swished past me - their index gearing
> making light work of the slight incline. As they drew level, one of the
> riders produced a large flashlight and directed the beam straight into
> my eyes!
>
> I wobbled, lost control of my cycle - and fell heavily against the
> lichen covered brickwork of the bridge, grazing my forehead and badly
> spraining my ankle.
>
> My assailants peddled quickly away, leaving me to limp homeward, leaning
> upon my bicycle which had sustained a puncture and a badly buckled front
> wheel.
>
> Later that evening, my ankle swathed in crepe bandaging, it was left to
> Mrs Love to sum up the matter. "This", she said, sagely, "Is what
> happens when you become involved with things that are none of your
> concern
>
> I never saw Diana or Dodi again.
>
> Rev Stapleton S Love
>
> ---
> Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
> Version: 6.0.514 / Virus Database: 312 - Release Date: 28/08/2003


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