ARE YOU THE POSTER *TRISTIE* ???

Not quite sure ?

Then take this simple test to find out ......

1. Your aquarium gives you ....

a) Hours of pleasure maintaining it .
b) Don't have an aquarium.
c) Emergency food supplies, when the welfare
cheque is late.

2. Your biggest fish *crisis* was when ....

a) A couple of (normally passive ) shubunkins
began continually fighting each other.
b) The salmon was overcooked at a recent dinner-party.
c) You were well beaten in an intelligence test, by a tin
of sardines.

3. Your favourite holiday is ...

a) Scuba diving along the Barrier Reef.
b) Playing cowboys & injuns , on the prairies.
c) Parole ...... spent trying to pick up
like-minded faggots, in men's public toilets.

4. Your mother IS ....

a) A retired office worker.
b) A retired business-woman.
c) ... your sister.

5. Your home is ...

a) A large 3 storey town-house.
b) A multi-bedroomed mansion.
c) An abandonned , rusty old trailer
in a redneck, welfare dependant,
hillbilly trailer park.

6. The last time that you wore a suit, you
were referred to as ......

a) Sir. ( as always )
b) Mr. President ( as always )
c) The accused ( as always )

7. You car is ...

a) An Aston Martin
b) A chauffeur driven, bullet-proof Sedan.
c) Nothing. In fact, the only thing that you've EVER
driven was your mother ..... driving her to wish that
she'd had an abortion.

8. When you were born ....

a) Your parents cried tears of joy.
b) America had a new hero.
c) The midwife slapped your mother, 'til SHE screamed.

9. Your long-term ambition in life is to be ...

a) Eternally happy & healthy.
b) President for the next 20 years.
c) eventually diaper free.

10. At school you were ....

a) Brilliant at languages.
b) Interested in politics.
c) Expelled for constantly eating chalk,
peeing your pants & barking like a dog,
during lessons.

11. Your favourite food & drink are ....

a) Spicy seafood pizza & Stella Artois.
b) Big Macs & a soda-pop.
c) Chalk, crayons & gnawing on your muzzle.
Water ( from a bowl on the trailer floor ).

12. A good *night - in* is .....

a) Football on the TV & a few beers with family / friends.
b) Baseball on TV & a few soda-pops with family / bodyguards.
c) Sesame Street on TV & then jerkin' - off to sleep, over pictures of
Liberace & Elton John.


YOUR answers ???

Mostly *a*s ...... then you are Zebulon Whateley.

Mostly *b*s .... then you are probably George Dubya Bush.

ALL *c*s ..... you are definitely the poster calling itself "Tristie".
No doctor or shrink is possibly capable of curing you of what
you are.
I recommend suicide. Go ahead kid .... do society a favour
......