Missing Shmogg

On Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:35:08 +1000, "Yowie"
<yowie9644.DIESPAMDIE RemoveThis @yahoo.com.au> wrote:

>Thought I was OK, thought I was mostly 'over it', thought the earring (which
>still hurts - more on that later) was working.
>
>But last night for no particular reason i just broke down again. For a cat
>that in his last weeks pretty much only slept and drank, and whose main
>interactions with me was to annoy me by walking across the keyboard, I miss
>him so much. I miss his face, I miss the smell of his fur, I miss the curled
>up blob on the freezer, I miss his meows, I miss his bastard cat tricks. I
>even miss him walking across the keyboard. But mostly I just miss knowing
>he's here somewhere to welcome a petting. I miss *my* Shmogglebeast, my
>pusspuss, my loyal and constant companion for 16 years who went through so
>much with me. I *still* see him out of the corner of my eye curled up
>somewhere - it usually just turns out to be a scrunched up t-shirt that has
>been carelessly strewn rather than put in laundry basket, but for that split
>second, he's still here and everythign is All Right and The Way Its Supposed
>To Be again. And then the reality hits and I sigh, knowing that it isn't
>true, and that I have to accept that Shmogg is no longer inthis earthly
>plane.
>
>I feel bad for not spending as much time as I used to with him since Cary
>came into my life, I regret not being able to do more for him. Sometimes, I
>feel like I ought to aplogise for Joel, Fluff & Cary coming into our lives,
>each addition to my family leaving less time for him. My thoughts can run
>through a gamut of 'what ifs' and I have to go and do something else to
>derail that set of thoughts or I'll just go further down into that
>spiralling black pit of depression. My head still knows that it was time for
>him to go, that he wasn't happy or healthy and having him stick around just
>fo rme would have been selfish and cruel, but my heart, oh my heart just
>wants more time, more time.
>
>Damn, for 6kg of furry piss & vinegar, he left a whomping ginormous hole in
>my heart.
>
>I miss you, buddy.
>
>Yowie

Not a single day goes by that I still don't miss my beloved Lucky and
Blizzard, who have been gone now for over 8 and 6 years, respectively.

Yesterday, I was down in the basement, and I saw Lucky's and Blizzard's
food and water bowls. I could never bear to throw them out, or give them
away. Now, they just gather dust on a shelf, and I see them almost every
time I go down into the basement.

You never really 'get over it'.

At least, I hope I never do, because I like to think about Lucky and
Blizzard every day, and all the joy they brought into my life.

The hole in my heart is small now, but it will never close completely.

Over time, missing Shmogg will be less and less painful; and eventually
you will mainly remember all the wonderful times you had together.

But, you will always miss him, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, and the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico kitty, Kenzie.

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

Life is very difficult. Once you understand that, life becomes easier.
-Buddha
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Mark Edwards <Mark-Edwards RemoveThis @comcast.net> wrote:

> Next month, Presto will have been gone four years.

I often think about his last moments, because it was so touching. I
remember you posting that he climbed on you, wrapped his front paws
around your neck, buried his head in your neck, and then passed away.
It was as though he knew something was wrong, and he wanted to feel
safe with his daddy. You've written a lot about how much these cats
mean to you, but it's also clear that you mean a whole lot to them,
too.

Joyce
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Yowie wrote:

> Thought I was OK, thought I was mostly 'over it', thought the earring (which
> still hurts - more on that later) was working.
>
> But last night for no particular reason i just broke down again. For a cat
> that in his last weeks pretty much only slept and drank, and whose main
> interactions with me was to annoy me by walking across the keyboard, I miss
> him so much. I miss his face, I miss the smell of his fur, I miss the curled
> up blob on the freezer, I miss his meows, I miss his bastard cat tricks. I
> even miss him walking across the keyboard. But mostly I just miss knowing
> he's here somewhere to welcome a petting. I miss *my* Shmogglebeast, my
> pusspuss, my loyal and constant companion for 16 years who went through so
> much with me. I *still* see him out of the corner of my eye curled up
> somewhere - it usually just turns out to be a scrunched up t-shirt that has
> been carelessly strewn rather than put in laundry basket, but for that split
> second, he's still here and everythign is All Right and The Way Its Supposed
> To Be again. And then the reality hits and I sigh, knowing that it isn't
> true, and that I have to accept that Shmogg is no longer inthis earthly
> plane.
>
> I feel bad for not spending as much time as I used to with him since Cary
> came into my life, I regret not being able to do more for him. Sometimes, I
> feel like I ought to aplogise for Joel, Fluff & Cary coming into our lives,
> each addition to my family leaving less time for him. My thoughts can run
> through a gamut of 'what ifs' and I have to go and do something else to
> derail that set of thoughts or I'll just go further down into that
> spiralling black pit of depression. My head still knows that it was time for
> him to go, that he wasn't happy or healthy and having him stick around just
> fo rme would have been selfish and cruel, but my heart, oh my heart just
> wants more time, more time.
>
> Damn, for 6kg of furry piss & vinegar, he left a whomping ginormous hole in
> my heart.
>
> I miss you, buddy.
>
> Yowie


Lots and lots of purrs and gentle hugs for you, Vicky, we are thinking
of you,
Polonca and Soncek
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