Paul Gear wrote:
> Hi Alex (& Dave),
>
> The whole point of having this bird in our family is to teach my sons
> the value of restraint around animals other than "standard" family pets.
> Yes, we made a mistake, but that's part of the process of the boys
> learning to respect birds. I'm sure we'll make more mistakes along the
> way, too. I'm just looking for advice on recovering from this mistake.
Hard bites which remove chunks of flesh is perfectly normal behavior for
a little bird being attacked by a large predator. Accept the fact that
your child is a large predator and he did grab the bird such that it
could not freely escape. My three macaws and CAG are bonded to me and
perfectly trustworthy sitting on my shoulder next to my face, but if I
grabbed then so that they realized they couldn't fly away I'd expect my
hands to be bleeding profusely. That's perfectly normal behavior for
any parrot.
You probably can turn this around, but the training is needed for your
and your children, not for the bird! Have a long talk with your
children about how the world looks to the bird. Point out than humans
are predators who normally eat both birds (chicken, turkey and in some
countries parrots) and bird eggs. Point how how fragile a bird is.
Have them imagine if they were forced to live with a semi-intelligent
creature the size of T-Rex which has (maybe) decided that it wants to
keep them as pets instead of to do what's natural and eat them. How
would they want that creature to behave toward them? The size and
strength difference is about the same proportion.
Unlike dogs, birds do not want masters and don't follow a pack leader.
Unlike cats they don't want to be petted, though they may enjoy gentle
scratches on the head and neck and feather grooming from thiner close
companions. What birds do want companionship and security. It's the
need for the safety of a flock that makes birds good pets. You must
allow a bird to become a member of your flock. You're flock is all the
creatures you consider your close companions. You cannot force that to
happen by intimidation or training. It's important that your bird sees
all of you as flock mates and none as predators. If that doesn't happen
your bird will try to defend some of you against the others, which
won't be pleasant. It can cause a lot of strife in a human family if a
pet bird bonds to one family member and attacks the rest.
Above all, be gentle with the bird at all times. Don't try to make the
bird be anything but a bird. It won't happen and will just prevent the
bird from accepting you and your flock. It's up to you and your family
to behave sufficiently like a friendly flock of birds that your
cockatiel can accept you. That's not very difficult.
Things to do.
Never scare the bird. Don't grab or surprise the bird. Treat the bird
like it's part of your family at all times, whether it responds or not.
Be near the bird as much as possible. A distance of a few feet is good.
Keep regular hours. Birds expect to sleep at night and be awake in the
daytime. Share food with your bird. If you're having a sandwich offer
it a little piece. Sleeping near your bird is a quick way to help gain
trust and security. Again, near is relative. A few feet. I often
sleep with me scarlet macaw on a perch four feet from my bed, my CAG
sitting on the foot board, and my White Front Amazon cuddled against the
top of my head sitting on the pillow. I'm not saying that will work
for you.
Talk to your bird. Birds like to chatter with each other. Repeat back
what you hear your bird say. Interact vocally Also let them here your
normal voice. Just remember that many parrots may repeat what they
hear which can be annoying or embarrassing if they pick the the "wrong"
things. Avoid sharp noises which scare a bird. As the bird accepts you
as a flockmate it will try to warn you of danger. In a flock birds
will pass along danger warnings.
Make sure the environment is safe for the bird. Other pets like cats or
dogs should never be allowed near your bird unless it's fully capable of
escape (flying and not caged). Remember that whether the cat or dog
ever attacks the bird isn't the point. It's whether the bird thinks it
might. A caged bird while safe may be very stressed by the presence of
predators. That applies to your kids, especially ones which have
already demonstrated that they can't be trusted not to attack.
Tell your kids that they must not touch the bird at all. They can offer
it food but not insist that the bird take the food. Do that when the
bird is free to retreat, not when cornered. After some time which
could be months or years the bird may accept that your children are
friendly and no longer a threat. It is not natural for a bird to stand
on it's friends and friendly birds never grab and hold each other. (in
mating they may but not with other members of the flock and not even in
courtship) Letting a bird sit on your finger or shoulder is an activity
for AFTER your bird accepts you (or your kids) as a friend. A small
bird may perceive "you" as only your head and the rest of your body as
noting more than the equivalent of a tree. Often small birds will
perceive your hands as some kind of serpent, completely independent of
your head. A bird may well bite a hand when it wouldn't consider biting
the face.
Give your bird plenty of time outside of the cage. I don't cage my
birds at all, but I've arranged my house to accommodate the habits of
birds. That doesn't work for most people. Let the bird decide whether
it wants to be near you or your kids when it's out of it's cage. Don't
force it. Don't grab the bird to put it back in it's cage. If you do
cage your bird it must consider it's cage as home and safety, not
entrapment or punishment.
If you kids keep scaring the bird by grabbing it they should expect to
continue to get bitten and the bird will never accept them. It's also
possibly he bird will decide to never trust any humans again. Birds
have very long memories.
>> Stay informed about: Curing my cockatiel of biting the kids 
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