HOWEDY Ellie,
"Ellie" <yukkyspam.TakeThisOut@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:0WHqb.2760$Cj1.82@fed1read07...
>
> Thank you for any help.
You won't be gettin no heelp from HOWER dog lovers.
They won't tell you HOWE to train your dogs cause only
The Puppy Wizard can do THAT, and your PALS here
would rather you HURT OR KILL your dog rather than
admit The Puppy Wizard can rehabilitate your dog NEARLY
INSTANTLY, maybe faster.
> Hopeful in AZ
Here's Valerie's story:
6/3/02, Three days after starting WEDTM...
"Seeing Spots (Val)" <Holmes.V.TakeThisOut@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:8aSK8.20147$LC3.1487669@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> Well, for what it's worth, I am praising without physical
> contact and she does seem to listen better than when
> I would praise with it. I agree that it is a distraction.
> Anyway, no more aggressive behaviors from her since
> I started the Witts End.
------------
Sellin Your Immortal Soul To The Puppy Wizzzard:
"A Contract Signed In Werewoolf And Elf Blood"
From: Seeing Spots \(Val\) (Holmes.V@worldnet.att.net)
Subject: Re: Dear Wits End
Date: 2002-06-04 18:19:07 PST
HEY!!!
There is a Valid Valerie with a REAL
Dalmatian who is a real sweet dog with
a few issues that I am working to resolve
after adopting her from a shelter
she spent 2 years in.
All I want is to get some decent help for my dog.
There is some decent stuff in Jerry's manual.
My dog has ACTUALLY been responding to
her training. The deal is you have to separate
your opinions and impressions from the guy
who is writing these posts and take from the
manual what you want.
Personally, I get a pretty good chuckle out
of the whole Jerry thing. I have to say the
guy is pretty clever, you're letting him get
under your skin. It makes for a very amusing
game I think. I'm sure he would agree,
or he wouldn't be playing everyday.
He also wouldn't be playing if he
didn't believe that his method of
training weren't valid.
Perhaps I'll learn from my mistakes,
but so far, using the Witts End, I have
gotten my dalmatian to listen to me, to
look to me for direction, to wait
for me to say when.
I have changed her from an aggressive
dog to one who is willing to please her
owner, willing to listen, willing to assume
her role in the pack.
The real Valerie M. Holmes speaking
P.s. Jerry, don't get any ideas about morphing into me, ok?
===============
Friday, 5/31/02:
HOWEDY Valerie,
"Valerie M. Holmes" <Holmes.V.TakeThisOut@worldnet.att.net> wrote in
message news:vVAJ8.14474$LC3.1002840@bgtnsc04-
news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
> I recently adopted a female, spayed
> 3 1/2 yr old dalmatian from a no-kill shelter.
Nice goin.
> She spent 2 years in the shelter and
> naturally she has some socialization
> issues to overcome.
Naaah not naturally, anyHOWE. Kenneling
for a long time shouldn't have problems
associated with it if the facility was reasonable,
and if they're not killin dogs they couldn't be
as cruel as our dog lovers like janet boss, john
richardson, and mikey ball, who gladly help
dogs DIE.
> My problem is I am not quite sure HOW
> to tackle these issues.
Don't worry about it! I got all the answers
and none of the calories. All ya got to do is
agree to do anything Jerry sez and you get
the aluminum funnel hat, membership card,
secret password, secret decoder ring, secret
fan club privilidges, secret FREE Wits' End
Dog Training Method manual, secret FREE
Wits' End Dog Training Method member's
benefits, and secret Contract Signed In
Werewoolf And Elf Blood with a lifetime
GUARANTEE, NEVER to have a dog
behavior problem again and your dog will
ALWAYS WANT to do as you ask.
IMPOSSIBLE? It gets EVEN BETTER!
Stick around...
> 1. She is aggresive toward **ALL** other dogs,
Ooops! WE got a TOUGH problem here.
I hope you're fit, dog training is a physical
skill not easily learned through books, the
written word just can't SHOW you the precise
moves necessary for commanding a dog.
Every dog is an individual, and we got to
SEE the behaviors to even GUESS what's
going on with your dog. THEN we got to
formulate a training program based on the
individual dog's requirements for physical
and emotional PRESSURE and learn the
fine art of attrition and have the expertise
to hurt your dog PRECICELY, and ONLY
WHEN NECESSARY.
But FIRST, a trip to the vet is in order.
Any sudden changes in behavior needs
to be examined by the veterinarian and
he'll be able to give you a referral to such
an expert who knows HOWE and when to
HURT your dog properly to make it friendly
or advise you when to KILL IT, TO BE FAIR.
So, tomorrow morning call your vet and make
an appointment in 15 days to put your dog to sleep.
Ask him HOWE MUCH.
Hang up the phone and SPEAK TO NO ONE!!!
SAY NOTHING TILL you put that money into
an envelope with your dog's name PRINTED
on it in UPPER CASE thingys.
MAKE SURE you GO DIRECTLY TO THE
BANK, SPEAK NOTHING!, and withdraw
ONLY NEW BILLS!
If you cannot obtain NEW currency KEEP
GOIN! We need CLEAN MONEY for this
SACRIFICE.
When you accept this money DO NOT TOUCH!
HAVE THE TELLER PUT THE BILLS INTO THE
ENVELOPE AND SEAL IT.
ASK HER TO PRINT YOUR DOG'S NAME ON THE BACK,
Ooops! DON'T! That's just an expression.
Hand the teller a note. DON'T SPEAK!
NOT THE FRONT. THE BACK OF THE SACRIFICIAL
ENVELOPE IN UPPER CASE THINGY'S.
Now you can speak, but don't, nobody will
believe you. Trust me. Take the envelope
to your HOWES and put it inside your
pillow case and FORGET ABOUT IT.
Don't need that for two weeks yet.
> even dogs that have shown that they
> are willing to be submissive.
Oooops? What's that mean? I don't understand
doggietalkie. You mean she attacks other dogs,
boys, girls, puppys, all dogs?
Good. That tells me we got consistency going
for us, to fix it.
When does she get an opportunity to have
a dog cower?
> Upon sight of a dog, she lunges and snarls.
O.K., that's GOOD! That tells me we can
probably break the lunging in a few minutes
of work. Maybe five, but we'll need to repeat
it a few times to generalize the idea. And
we'll need to do a little work to learn to handle
her properly, maybe an hour over several 15
minute sessions and a half dozen 5 minute sessions.
I hope your ciphering is keepin up with us.
> 2. She is usually kind and affectionate
> toward her owner (me),
Well, usually? I don't like usually. I like always,
consistent,100%, that's what's good. Always consistent.
Consistent behaviors change to other, often seemingly
un-related, consistent behaviors.
Dogs like consistency too, but not repression.
You'll see.
> but recently began turning sour
Ooops! That's good. That tells me the rest
of the problem is as I thought, JUST a little mishandling.
I'll teach youevery thing you need to know.
We're about half way done training aready.
WATCH!
> and for no apparent reason
All problem dog behaviors are a PREDICTABLE
direct result of our ineffective and inappropriate
responses to our dog's innate normal natural
instinctive reflexive responses to circumstances
of their environment WE create for them.
I'll teach you HOWE to train yourself to
respond differently to your dog's instinctive
reflexes to you, which will cause your dog
to reflex differently to your CONDITIONED
reflexive responses and interactions towards
him, compelling him to NATURALLY WANT
to do EVERY THING you ask, cause THAT'S
THE NATURE OF THE BEAST.
Once YOU have learned proper handling
techniques and appropriate non physical
control through conditioned distraction and
praise *(ABOUT 2 HRS WORK, maybe less,)
you'll be able to negotiate any obstacle LIKE
MAGICK, relying on scientific conditioning
and desensitization techniques and demonstrated
self control as explained in our Contract.. err,
your FREE Wits' End Dog Training Method
manual available, ahem, for FREE.
Unless you got that one in a BAZILLION
dog that's gonna throw Jerry the dew claw.
Don't let that happen. I'll work you through
the whole process and you'll see results
tommorow.
You'll have the behavior in pretty good shape
in a week, and in about ten days we should
be ready to start introducing her to a couple
select dogs in about fifteen minutes of work
and then we'll repeat that again a couple
times and again with a couple moore dogs
and then we'll be ready to start with the first
dog again for the off lead introduction and
you're DONE.
Oooops! PROBLEMO. My arithmetic sez
we're gonna need a couple moore days to
work this introduction business till the
aggression is thouroghly and permenantely
extinguished. If we break our Contract, I'm
err, shall we say OUTTA HERE FOREVER?
Of course I could handle this a lot faster in
person myself cause I can control you and
your dog to insure the result, so nobody's
got to do nothin noHOWE, but speak when
I ask, and hush as I speak and relish each
word like candy you'd eat, and jump when
I say, ask HOWE HIGH and salute, and
tout tributes to Jerry's manual whenever
you open your mouth...
That's all. Oh, and one other thing... I hope
you don't faint at the sight of blood. WE got
to sign a contract. HOWE MUCH do you want
this dog to turn out PERFECT in about two
weeks? I'm willing to...shall we say, STAKE
my ahahahahahaaaa, life on it???
BWWWWAHAHAHAAAA!!!
> and...
And NUTHIN. I REBUKE YOU IN THE NAME
OF SATAN, DOG LOVER!!!
You'll do as I say and dance when I speak...and
sing for your breakfast and beg for your treat ...
I'll stop at at nuthin to save your dog's life, includin
sellin the souls of my dog and my wife, to prove
there's no way to make a dog lover right.
I'll go with The Devil to save our dog's lives, I'll
fight tooth and nail with guns and with knives,
I'm droppin the hammer on dog trainer's careers,
and takin their eye teeth along with their rears.
They been jerkin and chokin the life outta dogs
and now I got them all by their balls in my jaws...
Now go ahead and pinch my ears..., or just
make me laugh.
I just told you we figured out your dog's problem.
> snarls toward me!
Big deal. She won't do that noMOORE once
you learn to handle her like any of my students.
> This has completely destroyed the trust
What trust? The trust established with your
choke collar and corrections?
Don't worry about a thing. WE got a CONTRACT.
Remember?
> we were building over the past month.
BWWWWAJJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAAAAA!!!
Got me laughin in Spanish and I don't even
speak Spanish.
> 3. She deals with visitors,
Deals? Sounds tentative. She's just a little shy. Don't worry
about it. I'm
the only game in town. I got the deal and Jerry don't make no
deals...
Well not no moore, since I'm temporarily
outta... mmm, currency.
Jerry don't compromise with dog lovers who prefer
to hurt and kill dogs than spend a couple hours
trying to show the dog HOWE to live instead of
forcing IT to choose the degree of pain it prefers
to tolerate in between spurts of life, anxiety, and repression.
> but is very anxious around people she
> doesn't know.
Shy. The anxiety is a result of punishment for being
aggressive cause she's shy, or maybe just from back
when a puppy jumpin up onto a guest and gettin
kneed in the chest or toes stepped on or alphaphalpha
rolled and growled into their throat or just SCRUFF
SHAKED and screamed NO for 5 seconds or chin
CHUCKED and bit on the ears till they piss themselves
or jerked and choked on a pronged spiked pinch choke
collar or burned with a medical grade static like stimulation
device or containment system like our dog lovers at k9
web and cindy "don't let the dog SCREAM" mooron
recommend TO ENHANCE THE BOND between 'trainer'
and dog.
Our traditional training methods are what's making
your dog turn on you for hurting and scaring her
during her meetings with other dogs.
Our pal lying "I LOVE KOEHLER" lynn and janet
boss recommend pronged spiked pinch choke
and shock and citronella collars for training this
kind of dog... and they'd rather not put IT
through all that when there's SO MANY dogs
that are MOORE deserving of their HELP.
And then they'll kill our best dogs and deny it,
despite it's archived FOREVER.
You see where WE're goin with all this? WATCH.
> At first she would scream if a stranger petted
> her with 2 hands.
I'd probably come real close to dropping the
hammer on them myself. My dogs will bite you
if a stranger meeting us put their hands on us in
a restraining manner. We don't like that.
Trust me.
Strangers touching us means we got to run
and find an adult or a policeman. RIGHT?
Either that or...
> I just don't trust her around anyone yet.
Me too. I never trust a dog. I only trust my
training methods and then we don't got to
worry about what the heel the dog cares...
who the heel's the goddamned trainer, you
or the dog?
THE DOG!
You got to TRAIN YOURSELF to reflex to
his needs properly and then he'll reflex to
his natural instinct and be able to use his
dog skills as part of your family pack,
equally with you and the other family
members.
Every thing you've been taught about
handling your dog is DEAD WRONG
and your dog is prima facia evidence
in Jerry's Giiihhhaaad against the dog
behavior industry for bringing us every
dog behavior problem we've got.
> 4. She lunged at my sisters 2 year old
$#!T! You're gonna try and make this hard for
me aren't ya, pullin the fear/guilt double high
card trump tryin to make Old Jerry roll over
and piss himself with the 2 yo kid card???
NOTHIN DOIN! Get the heel outta here!
IN THE NAME OF SATAN I REBUKE YOU,
DOG LOVERS!!!
> the same way she lunged toward other dogs,
> aggressively.
Duh-Oh! Spooooookey!!!
BWWWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
> I really really like this dog,
THAT'S GREAT! I do too. I like all dogs
on general principle and individual dogs
on merit and don't like nobody no moore
than me...and mine. You got your copy
of The Contract?
Don't worry about nuthin. Me an mine are
comin through this alive... sort of, in a sense.
> when she is calm and able to relax.
Vs what? I would like to know when she's not
calm and able to relax... tell us what she's doin.
THOSE are the anxiety relief mechanisms WE
need to deal with so I can fulfill OUR Contract
and... finish you off, and that little dog too!
> I want to keep her,
LIKEWISE. WE got a long term Contract.
Haven't we?
> but I don't really know what the best way to
> establish the necessary trust.
Yeah, as a matter of fact we got EXPERTS here.
Let me INTRODUCE you around?
> Any ideas out there?
Yeah. Our dog lovers were just on their way to
another forum. Weren't you, dog lovers? We'll
introduce our new found friends later.
Right now our OP's got some studying to do
before she has an accident cause she won't
know HOWE to handle her lead to stop
triggering her dog to pull if she's wastin time
with dog abusers who jerk and choke dogs.
That's moore than half of what gets IT angry.
Now if this sounds too unbelievable, I'll just
up the ante.
I'll PAY YOU $10.00 / hr to study with me, IF YOU FAIL.
Call or write for details and agreement: 1 888 WITSEND.
Your Puppy Wizard. <}YPW ; ~ ) >
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